I have not prepared much for this exploration. I will very likely take some wrong turns. I hope that in openness to the unexpected I will also find meaning.
Unlike my typical morning meditations, this will be more of a daily journal. I expect to post in both morning and evening, even during the day if there is cause and opportunity.
Throughout the Ten Days of Awe until Yom Kippur I will open and close each day with the Amidah prayer (in English). In the mornings I will give some attention to the contents of this traditional prayer.
The Amidah - or Standing - Prayer has, since the destruction of the Temple, succeeded the obligatory sacrifices. It is a prayer of nineteen (or more) blessings offered three times a day.
My Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare Your praise. Blessed are You Lord our God. Blessed are You, Lord our God and God of our fathers, God of Abraham, God of Isaac and God of Jacob, the great, mighty and awesome God, exalted God, who bestows bountiful kindness, who creates all things, who remembers the piety of the Patriarchs, and who, in love, brings a redeemer to their children's children, for the sake of His Name.
On this first day of exploration may I be especially attentive to bountiful kindness. May I also be a source of bountiful kindness.
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On the eve of Rosh Hashana there is an old tradition -- apparently no longer widely practiced -- of recruiting three friends to serve as a Rabbinical Court to preside over a ceremonial release of vows or Hatarat Nedarim. The following English version was created by Reb Zalman.
Petitioner: My friends, I ask the three of you to serve as judges in the court that is empowered to release one from vows. Will you please serve for me in this capacity?
The judges: Yes, we are prepared to hear you.
Petitioner: What follows is not intended to void promises I made to other people from which only they can release me.
In the last year I have from time to time made vows, sometimes speaking them out loud or had an intention, a resolution to change something in my actions, behavior and attitude in my mind. Some of these are in relation to myself, my body, my mind, and my soul. Some of these deal with the way in which I conduct myself in relation to other people. And most of all, there are those that deal with my relation to God.
Sometimes I took on a practice or a custom and did it at least three times and have since either willingly or unwillingly abandoned it and I know that this, too, has the power of a vow.
Many times when I ask for prayers for some people whether they are prayers for healing, for blessing or for the repose of souls departed, in which the formula includes "Because I shall contribute to tzedakah" and I may have forgotten to do that or not been aware, I ask you to release me from that, too.
All these I regret and I ask you to recognize my regret and release me from all those vows.
The judges: Hearing your regret, we release you. All is forgiven, all is released, and may it be that in the same way that we here below release you from theses vows and obligations, so may you be released from the court above from the same.
Petitioner: As I stand here and I am aware of my fickle nature in matters of vows, promises and resolutions, I hereby declare that for the coming year, should I again offer such vows, promises and resolutions, they should have no effect and not become binding on me. At this moment I regret any of these and do not wish them to be valid.
The judges: We have heard your declaration and consider it licit and legal. May you be blessed with a good year, inscribed in the book of life and sealed for good.
The petitioner was once expected to specifically identify all these self-made and unfulfilled vows and then to also offer something close to the above for any such vows he had since completely forgotten.
There is in the Hetarat Nedarim profound self-criticism, a commitment to communal relationships, and an amazing sense of God's grace.
Today I traveled through a desert, watered by the hand of man and generosity of God, and saw tomatoes being hauled like coal, huge fruit orchards extending to the horizon, more olive trees than I could gather in a single gaze. I share many concerns with industrial agriculture. But what an example of the potential for man and God in creative partnership.
Another ceremony Erev Rosh Hashana tradition is to soak in a mikveh, I did not have access to any living waters. But I did swim in an outdoor pool and take a very hot bath.
This is a kind of Jewish New Years Eve. Tonight I had apples and honey and a glass of champagne.
I did not interact with many others today. I extended a few simple sorts of kindness. But I was the recipient of bountiful kindness.
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